Piglet.

There are moments in life when people misunderstood you, underestimate you, deny you the credit that you deserve, or even judge you unfairly. I know it feels, maybe even a little suffocating, that someone dare to mask the light of the star that you are. You feel this injustice, this subtle anger, and this indignation. But you know what? There are no winners or losers in life. We all have our own path to walk, our own life to lead, our own person to be. The only thing you can do is be happy, love yourself, and try not to waste time doing anything less than that.

–

21 Feb 2019

Life is an eternal process of going off balance and find back your balance.

If I do too many things that I only like, then people around me are bound to not like it. And in the end, I am affected too. If I do too many things that people like, then I am bound to be unhappy.

Stifled until one day, we just flip. Then for a while everyone is happy, until it starts again.

We are always comparing ourselves to people around us. Let’s be honest, no matter how much you say that someone else is comparing you to someone, you are the greatest and most cynical critic of yourself.

Why is it that you feel such a need to justify some part of your existence is better than that pretty girl you saw on the train? That colleague who has the same qualifications as you? She is so pretty but I bet she is not as clever as me. He is great but I bet if I had the same opportunities I would do better. Actually, who are we trying to impress? Our friends? Our Instagram followers? Our colleagues? Or, actually maybe just ourselves.
It takes a lot more courage to admit that someone is just as great as we are or maybe even better (but it’s ok because it just means we should keep bettering ourselves). It takes a lot of energy to keep reminding ourselves that it’s ok that someone is just 10/10 even if we are 9.9/10. There’s no need for justification, no need for excuses. It’s ok to be 9.9/10.

“Grow the fuck up”

How does it feel when you’re so close to telling this to someone, or how does it feel when you’re on the receiving end of this statement?

What do you mean I need to grow up? Are you telling me that after getting a job, paying my taxes, buying my insurance, setting up my investment, taking care of myself, learning how to cook and even doing my own laundry (basically making sure that I don’t wither and die when left to my own devices), that I’m a damn kid?

That’s right. Knowing how to do things don’t make you grown up, unless you have the emotional common sense to interact with the people around you.

Well if you haven’t learn how to do any of those things above, I wouldn’t fret too much about it if I were you. I highly advise you to grow up your emotional self before you start telling everyone (or even deceiving yourself) that you’re a grown up.

Imagine a guy, a few years older than you, who has a son. Sometimes, out of context, when you talk to to him, he talks so ‘young’ it’s easy to forget that he’s a dad. Because when we think of ‘dad’ we think of someone great, dependable, mature and stable (probably like our dads). Plus, this guy is not that much older than me. That’s like asking you to picture yourself as a mom. Why doees the thought of that unsettle you?

I think that you are standing at a crossing. Maybe not a road crossing, it’s more like a tunnel, or an underpass. It’s like a kind of limbo. You have to be here, although, you don’t really belong here. You don’t want to be thought of as a child anymore. Standing at the edge of the road, thinking about what you will invest in with your next paycheck (yep, you even start to use big, important words too), thinking about moving in to the first home you will buy with your own money, thinking about a ring you might soon wear on your finger. You are certainly an adult. While you are young, you can certainly be an adult too, you can certainly be someone’s parent. (Why does being someone’s parent mean you can’t be the crazy youngster with crazy dreams and have crazy fun?) You are merely in limbo. You are trying to reconcile two worlds that seem unlikely they can be connected by that underpass.

What do you want more – freedom or money?

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These days I have been cooking and making stuff with my Sister. Then I realise how interesting it actually is… And also how noob I actually am. Although I am always satisfied with the outcome, it was actually not the same yummy food I was had in mind when I made it. 🤔 Still a long way to go!!! 

Alright now don’t judge my video please ~

1. Sleep before 12AM.

2. Drink at least 1 litre of water.

3. Run more.

August is here.

I can’t bear to leave the place that has taught me so much,

The place that brought me to other places halfway around the globe.

The place that taught me to be who I am and taught me to love who I am.

Graduation is happening in about 60 days, more or less. I’m just gonna go ahead and say I will miss every damn thing about being a student!!! This is a random night blog about the little things in school and how I will miss the things that I never really noticed….

The time we first moved here, I kept getting lost, it was like the first day of Uni all over again, everything was super interesting and exciting.

I’ll miss hiding in my room at my table doing work while wrapped in my monkey suit and surrounded by lots of pigs. I’ll miss lying on my bed youtube-ing or staring into the wall while it’s raining outside and the room is so dim and cool.

I’ll miss every single performance I gave, and every club I joined, because what makes you more a student than joining CCAs right? (Except studying of course…)

I wish I can keep all those selfies I sent my sister and Fatty, talking about how on point my outfit looked.

I’ll remember how smelly all the studios are, despite complaining about them. I’m even gonna remember complaining about the dust and hair on the floor, and how black my feet are if I didn’t bring dancing shoes.

I’ll miss going everywhere in bunches, and someone’s always waiting for someone who is waiting for someone else who is waiting for something to be completed.

Lastly here’s a shoutout to a bunch of people who became a pretty unlikely ‘gang’ of mine, where we all met in Year 1 but never bothered to know each other more until EPD drew us together. The people are what you miss most when you’re gone, and the only thing that we get to keep is some kind of happiness knowing that you had such fun with them, and that once, they were always there to help us and make our lives better. 🙂